Piña Coladas, coconut scented suntan lotion, beautiful bronze bodies; those are the things most people think of when they go down to Miami’s South Beach (and SoBe never disappoints), but I bet you’ve never Imagined unicorns, burlesque shows and a $15M golden mammoth? The Faena Hotel is Miami’s answer to the growing art community that is ever expanding in South Florida and takes you on a magical ride that you won’t soon forget.
When I decided to book my trip I wanted to try something different, something new. Normally I would stay at The Fontainebleau, a self-contained party hot spot, but since I wasn’t going as part of a bachelorette party I wanted to branch out. My friend recommended the brand new Faena, which opened last year, after she had visited the hotel during Art Basel and told me it was right up my ally, she was right. With it’s halls lined with gold and spanish influenced art it called to my artistic side and I clicked ‘confirm’!
Room: Bay View
After I was escorted to my room by the bellhop, I received a ring at my door, it was my butler! Each room is assigned a butler for all of your needs that you may have during your stay, he introduced himself to me and let me know that if I need anything to just give him a ring, how fancy!
My room was located at the south of the hotel looking down the beach with a partial view of the ocean from my balcony. The hues of bright red and teal made the space come to life and add a little bit of the Miami culture into the room which most hotels in SoBe tend to eliminate for more sleek, modern textiles. The room was also thoughtfully designed with a pocket door separating the living area and bedroom so that if your significant other decides they want to watch a little late night TV or get up early they won’t wake you.
The bathroom was gorgeous! Continuing the red and teal into the tiles and accents throughout. The standing shower had two shower heads, a hand held and rain shower that you can switch between, as well as a marble seat to relax on. My favorite piece though had to be the Japanese toilet (which I had only recently experienced). If you have not tried one out you are in for a real treat! The toilet automatically opens for you when you enter and has a warmed seat so that you feel comfortable right away; the night light function is super helpful as well for those middle of the night callings. On the wall is a side panel which controls the toilet’s functions for cleaning and drying, just remember to set your desired pressure so that you don’t have a painful water jet (my mistake, ha!).
For those of us who love tech, you’ll love this! Each room has it’s own iPad which controls the room’s settings like lights and A/C, but more than that you can also order room service through it and not have to talk to anyone! Which any Seamless, Postmates or UberEats user can really appreciate. You are also able to book a table at any of the onsite restaurants as well as look through all of the spa services and events that are happening that evening.
Depending on what you are looking for in a pool environment this could be a highlight or a downside to this hotel. While most of Collins Ave. caters to the party scene, Faena chose to explore a more relaxing alternative and produce a feeling of being transported to another country. When taken to your lounge chair (poolside or beachside) they provide you a carafe of water so that you don’t dehydrate and if you’ve forgotten to bring sunscreen, don’t fret they’ve got you covered! They have on hand 15 SPF and 30 SPF, but if you need something a little more they will find it for you. You are also able to order from the Los Fuegos menu for any snacks or drinks you feel like munching on.
This section I will keep short and brief as you really need to experience the food to really understand how delicious it all really is. Lets start with…
This is where I spent most of my time eating as I spent a good amount of time by the pool. This is also where you can get breakfast, lunch, and where your room service menu comes from. My favorite items from the menu by far were the Yellowfin Tuna and the Wood Oven Empanadas, they were so fresh and full of flavor.
Tree of Life Bar
The perfect place to grab a quick drink and take a walk on the beach. I had myself a few Hemingway Daiquiris and when I wanted something refreshing, the Pineapple Fizz; but the best thing on a hot day is their fresh coconut water cracked open right in front of you.
Pao by Paul Qui
Fish lovers everywhere need to come to Pao! They do a beautiful job of blending Latin and Japanese cuisine; their Toro will simply melt in your mouth! Make sure to make a reservation as seats fill up quickly.
This is a great place to grab a drink before stepping into the Faena Theater, make sure to grab an Old Fashioned and stay classy!
This is where you could say ‘the magic happens’. C’est Rouge! is a wonderful burlesque show that plays Thursday through Saturday. You have the option of doing the dinner show (Fridays and Saturdays at 8pm starting at $225) or just the show (Thursdays and Saturdays at 10p starting at $65).
Staying at the Faena has been a very welcome breath of fresh air. While most hotels cater to the night life that Miami is well known for, Faena has brought back the tranquility we find from a beach vacation while being close enough to the action to party the night away. They make you feel like family making leaving this magical land all that more difficult. I’ll be back soon!
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